There are some days when I look at my life and I have to close my eyes and make sure I’m not dreaming because it is so fucking sweet.
After last week’s posts… and the week before… I think its time to write something positive. I don’t like getting too personal on the internet, since you know, anyone can read this. but sometimes I think that I don’t recognize the sweetness in my life. Today, this blog post, will give full recognition.
Family
The thing is, my family is the best. My family starts with my parents who are so supportive that sometimes, I think they are more invested than I am in all of my doings. Not to mention, they take such good care of anyone I love, make me pee my pants laughing, and have never once made me feel like I couldn’t tell them something. Sure, we have our issues. My mom and I fight like all mothers and daughters, our similarities come out and battle each other on the foreground of the kitchen. But, most of the time, we’re a young Sophia and Dorothy or Grey Gardens with out the money and the cats. I think you’ll find that it is hard for anyone to fight with my dad, but we have heated debates about what’s going on in the world right now (or in my bank account). I hope that someday I can have kids who think I’m as badass as I think my parents are. Next, I have a brother who is 14.5 years my senior. We never got the chance grow up in the same room or house for that matter, but I always loved my brother so much. I always wished we were closer in age, so we could have had really intense fights over who did what to who, or how it was someone’s turn to take the garbage out, or to have him around every time I came home from a date so he could threaten my date’s life. But, that’s not how it was. We only get the chance to fight a few times a year and Seth only got to threaten the guys who I was serious enough to bring home. Seth married the best girl ever, Joyce. She is the big sister I always wanted and finally have. They have 2 kids, Zack (3) and Rosie (1) who are the apple of my eye. I couldn’t be more obsessed with them. I imagine this is about .0005% of what a parent must feel like, but I feel so lucky to have the shmendricks that anything more than that .0005% might make my heart explode.
Friends
My next topic, friends, is not dissimilar to the first topic. My home is a beautiful little house in North Hollywood. I live with 4 people who I adore and think of as family. Once you graduate from college and you begin to live your life away from the home you grew up in, no longer as a student, and truly by your own rules, there become two schools of thought concerning family: 1) Family concerns the group of people to whom you were born into aka not by choice. 2) Family is anyone you are close enough to that you would attach them to your family tree as, “brother,” “cousin,” “sister,” “wife,” or anything else you can come up with. I have to say that I wholeheartedly believe in the second of the 2 options. The boys I live with are my brothers, (well 3 of 4, but we’ll get to that later). I have an aunt and 2 cousins that I’ve known since the day I/we was/were born but aren’t technically blood related. So what. They are my family just as much as the next Dubroff or Burnett. The same goes for quite a few people. I’m lucky enough to call my friends my family and vice versa.
Love
Every morning, a puppy wakes me up. This puppy is my literal dream come true. We had a dog when I was a baby but had to give him away before I turned 2. So, of course, from then on all I wanted in the world was a little dog. Finally, after 24 years of waiting, I moved to LA, put down my luggage, and adopted Ernie. He is a 9- month old jack Russell Maltese and the most glorious creature on earth. When I wished my whole life for a dog, he was the dog I was waiting for. His ability to make me smile and make me feel unconditionally loved is unrivaled. He is my baby boy and my puppy love. He is cute at everything he does. Literally. Even when you think it might be gross, it just turns out cute. Anyway, when I’m finally up I get to say “good morning,” to Steve first, before anyone else in the world. These 2 things are something that I could never have known to wish for. Steve and I have been together for a few years. Still, when I see him, I have that same feeling I did the fall of my senior year of college. This is when I barely knew him, I knew that he was cute and cool, but I didn’t’ know him the way I do now. Back then, I was enamored by his passion for his craft and the fact that every girl wanted to be his lady. This all sounds very fancy, I know, but truly, I still have a crush on him. As if he were my 6th grade classmate, I crush on him. I still get so excited when his number shows up on my phone or when I wait for him to come home from work at night. Yes, you can all say that I’m very young and what do I know… but I’ll tell you what I know. I know that sometimes you can’t prepare yourself for the awesomeness that life will hold. Sometimes you will say, I’m not ready for ANY of this, but it won’t matter. When the time is right, whether you’re 4, 24, or 44 when it happens it happens. You can’t mess with that. He is the coolest roommate I’ve ever had (sorry Ben, David, Brit, and Betsy) and is the coolest boyfriend ANYONE could have. We’re on the same page about so many things. Including the fact that even if we think we’re in this for the long haul – we don’t have to get married till we’re 50. I say this because if I was an uneducated (in terms of my views on marriage) I’d assumed that some gooey story about our engagement was coming next. No offence to anyone else because I applaud everyone for making their own life choices, but as far as I’m concerned, if we really think that we’re gonna be together forever than why do we have to sign a piece of paper and throw a party that says so? If we’re really in this, why rush? I get it, people love weddings, heck, I love weddings, but only if they aren’t mine. I have so much that I want to accomplish in my life professionally that thinking about cashing some of that in for a baby and a house just doesn’t seem worth it yet. Besides I have a puppy and a room in a house, that’s more than enough for now.
I hope that all this gushing and hyperbole doesn’t throw you to think that any part of this blog is untrue. It’s hard to not get cynical about life when you’re in the arts. SO, though it might seem much more candy coated than usual, please know that sometimes you merely have to wake up on the bright side of the bed and recognize all the sweet awesomeness your life is filled with.
Get some.
East to West: A Chronicle 